"Howard Kleger remains the longest distance between any two points; the world's greatest living foe of expediency."

I met a remarkable gentleman tonight by the name of Howard Kleger. Howard lives in Philadelphia and makes his nightly residence at a cafe my sister frequents near the Northstar Bar. The place has an array of characters, though Howard remains the spectacle of originality, a living embodiment of complete abandonment of vanity and societal normality. His life is artwork in the purest form. The world is his canvas, and his revolving array of friends and interactions: witnesses to his inestimable genius of such an unbeknownst marriage between imagination and daily activity. My sister has been wanting to aquaint me with Howard, and tonight her wishes were realized. A friend and admirer of Howard has written a thoroughly developed analysis of his surreal and seemingly fictionalized life, which can only merely introduce laymen such as myself to such a wonder of humanity.

Howard Kleger and Hypermeaning by Brandon Joyce
The Klegatorium

Howard invited my sister and I to spend Hannakuh with his family, after a remark I made about wanting to experience the holiday. His plan is that I will pretend I am the boyfriend of one of the residents, hide in her room, and escape the stairwell so his parents will not see me. Then Howard will knock on the door, saying, "It's me, Howard!," and I will burst forth as a Hannakuh joke for all to enjoy in holiday mirth. I'm excited to see how this one plays out.